Reflection 2

 A walk outside, it's below freezing, it's Minnesota, it is what it is.  A phrase that came up in this morning's conference.  

Radical Acceptance: Seeing Wholeness in a Wounded World

I also picked up The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis at the retreat center library.  

It's lightly snowing outside, even as I walked.  It was peaceful.  I thought about the serenity prayer and how I can try to practice that more often.  To remember there are things I can not change and there are things I can change.  The speaker this morning also said we need to honor our emotions.  How do I do that? I will have to ask during that non-silent time I took the courage to set up.  

There is coffee, it's always available here, thank goodness, another plus for this place, another reason I will have to return and not in six years.  

Some of the reflection questions offered for us to ponder include: 

• What is the reason I was born?
• Why was I sent into the world? 
• How am I fulfilling the promise God gave me?
• How am I living my truth?

I've never been one to ask why am I here? I've always just been an active person finding something to help or fix and not for recognition, but because I like to help.  That was instilled by my Gram.  I may have met more fulfilling purpose in my life when I became a Mom.  My whole world changed.  I still wanted to help and fix things, but now I wanted her to be a part of that.  I even brought you into that realm of my life.  Remember when we were first married, maybe just a few years in I volunteered us to help out at an orphanage.  Funny you didn't remember the details about the orphanage being in Mexico.  It felt so good to bring the needed supplies to those kids and more importantly it was wonderful to bring them an afternoon of happiness.  We played and did our best  communicating with our broken Spanish.  The smiles on their faces spoke volumes in any language.  I guess that goes to A's point, I was good for you just as much as you were good for me.  My purpose is to do good things on this planet with the time I'm given here and to show my best girl what that looks like and how she can do that too.  

I guess I'm not seeking wholeness.  I would absolutely love to learn how to adopt radical acceptance in my daily life.  

Things I can not change

• you are dead and I am a widow
• my Dad's health 
• how other's act and choose to behave

I feel like this list should be longer.  Maybe that's because I take on so much responsibility, I want things to be perfect, want to make everyone happy.  

I will leave this for now and just let my mind go.  There does not always need to be words to be at peace.  

take care,