Learning Grace

 I returned the books of poetry and the unfinished C.S. Lewis book to the library this morning.  As I sat in the comfortable rocking chair with my coffee of course, I chose another book to skim.  I found myself just sitting and thinking and truly feeling in the presence of God.  I got to thinking, why do I think it's a stigma to be with God, to believe in God.  Is it because of your thinking, though I'm still smiling about the joke being on you, you won't live that one down because you're already dead.  Is this stigma because of the polarization of our times, is it because I want to be considered intellectual?  I am intellectual and spiritual it is possible you know.  Maybe it's like a Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff thing.  God works through me, I know that sounds totally not humble, but it was part of one of the conferences, not my fault.  I was thinking about that, I am the way I am because I'm doing good that God wants me to do.  When I screw up and there are plenty of times that happens, God still loves me.  The morning prayer today talked about the land and being watered and growth, I was going toward the whole we thank God for the good things, but what about the bad, but I just remembered in that prayer it also said God washed out and drowned the land and made it soft then the growth part.  It's still a challenge to think about why bad things happen.  I don't think God let's bad things happen, I think they just happen.  God relies on us to do the good things and we rely on him to find the strength to do the good things, it's a struggle to remember that God is there and still loves us when we do the bad things.  God even loves Hitler and the orange one.  That is why God is great and I'm still learning to live with and learning to give grace. 

take care my love, Ahh to have this conversation with you, well it's totally one sided and I guess I get the last word, because you're still dead.  :)