I'm sinking, drowning, don't know what to do.  I don't want to be a debbie downer to others enjoying their holiday.  I'm tired.  I have no motivation, no energy.  I wish I could just sit in my room and just be by myself.  I have obligations, promises to keep.  I have to fake life with a smile. It hurts to smile.  I really don't want to do this any more.