still

I'm falling, slipping, inside out, the hollow is enveloping me.  I just want seclusion, I don't want to do the daily tasks of life, I don't want to be around people, I don't want to be around.  I'm desperately trying not to be selfish, not to just wallow in my own thoughts.  I'm trying to make you proud.  I am so self conscious, feel like I'm being judged by every word or action I complete.  I feel so overwhelmed.  I'm trying to keep things cheerful and jolly for our little girl.  I'm trying not to stress her out, trying to keep things light, yet ensure she learns responsibility.  I miss you so much, I still feel so empty & lonely.

I love you handsome man and miss you so much

take care