Expectations

 What do I expect in this life, maybe too much.  The moment I expresses any kind of doubt, expressed what I needed, I really wish your response would have been, absolutely I love you.  Not some reason why you chose to withhold, not some entire discussion about what you want.  I needed something and you weren't there.  It feels like tit for tat.  Again, I expect too much.  I need to evaluate what I want and if that is even possible.  I need to go back to complete self sufficiency and expect nothing, complete independence and doing things on my own, emotioinally anyway.  I'm just really upset right now, even still.  Yes I am a damn good person.  I think before I speak, I think before I act.  I am sincere.  When I say something wrong, when I do something wrong I admit it and I apologize.  Hence I treat others like I want to be treated.  I expect too much.  I'm just blathering on, I need an outlet, I guess this is it.  A sounding board.  Why am I still upset?

take care