Wednesday, July 22, 2020

farther away

farther and farther away.  You're still in my thoughts every day.  I've taken out our rings a few times the last few days.  I miss you so.  I'm reminded of so much these last few days.  A co-worker lost his bother-in-law to the same wretched disease that took you.  I just now realized you lived exactly 11 months from the date of your diagnosis.  How did I not realize that before?  May 9, cancer diagnosis, May 11, Mother's day, fucking Mother's day we were given the primary location and stage of the cancer.  Exactly 11 months later April 11th you were gone.  It's been five years and I sit here falling apart, my heart pounding.  You are so far away, my mind struggles to remember things.  To hear your laugh, to feel your arms, to bury my head in your chest.  I am so tired, so exhausted.  I can't anymore tonight. 

take care,

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