Why am I so fucking angry? Don't give me the stages bull shit. Did you know there is a 'national widow's day'? may fucking third. why do we need a day. why is this hitting me so hard right now? I want to run, I want to ride my bike so fast and just go, but I don't want to leave the house, let alone my fucking room. I think I would feel so much better if I just went outside and ran, I don't want to be around people though. Where would I go? I know what direction I would head, I am so fucking lost right now. I don't want to burden anyone one, but I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm trying to keep things together for her, I really am. Why is this so fucking hard right now? What is different about now?
done for now.
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