stuck

I get out of bed for her.
I keep breathing for her.
I go to sleep for her.
I continue this existence.
I can't believe I've gone back to where I was.  That place of empty, the place where I don't sleep or move forward.  I just exist.  It's been 13 months and 20 days, I've moved backward like it was day 20.  When nothing was left to do, to keep me busy.  On day 20 you were closer, my memories were sharper.  Now you're so much farther away.  I'm in a fog, I don't want to sleep yet my body craves it, I just want to sit here and write or distract myself on social media.

The me that lives without you, I've been slowly carving out the detail of that person.  This work in progress is stuck right now and I don't know how to continue.  Maybe I'm scared.  I know I'm tired.  You always understood me, even before I finished expressing my thought.
 I miss you handsome man and I love you so.

take care