Grow old with me

I had a realization the other day, something I would have shared with you of course.  So here I am.  I think our bodies are getting older than our mind will allow.  The other day I was teaching the class where I volunteer and we had a large group activity.  This means all the children gathered together in a larger room, sat on the floor and participated in a lesson then watched a short video.  In the past I've always sat on the floor with the kids.  There are chairs set up for the adult volunteer teachers so they do not need to sit on the floor.  I've always liked be close to my students even if it meant sitting "criss cross apple sauce".  Well I started on the floor and just couldn't do it for very long.  I ended up in one of the chairs set up for the adults.  That was quite a realization, my body is not young like it was.  I'm getting older, at least my body is getting older.  We were suppose to do this together.

Long long long time ago you asked me to marry you.  I said yes and we became engaged.  You still asked me to marry you even with the engagement ring on my finger.  You asked every single day.  If memory serves you asked every day even after we were husband and wife.  Eventually that morphed into "Will you grow old with me?"  We were suppose to grow old together, like gray hair, walkers, and dentures old.  Yes you were starting to go a little gray and you were amazed and maybe a little ticked off that I didn't have one gray hair, still don't.  You also brandished the walker, an electric blue walker at that.  You grew old with out me and here I am waiting to tease you because your age would advance and you would be older for the next 10 months, but that will not happen ever again.  You have stopped and I must go on.

I must not die of loneliness, though part of me has died with you.  The part that learned to love, I still remember sitting in that McDonalds on University in Des Moines and I uttered those words to you.  You taught me the power of those words, words I had never spoken to a man before you.  I allowed myself to be vulnerable to you, I trusted you, that part of me died.  The love that lives is the love of mother.   φιλία and ἔρως I learned from you and we both shared στοργή, and this is all that remains.  


I love you my handsome man. 


take care,