Why are days off from work so difficult? It's the empty space, the loneliness creeps in, and my thoughts betray me. Another part of our history will no longer exist come Saturday. It is so odd to choose the day a living creature will no longer have life. Reminds me of choices of the past. Choices you asked my opinion and advice. Choices I had to make because I was the person you trusted most in the world and you could no longer speak for yourself.
Why do I still struggle 2,208 days later? I think the legal document and saying goodbye to a life has its effects. I was distracted most of the day, now that the distraction is done I seek another. An escape. I feel the month is poisoned.
I miss you, and long for day 1353, 1354, 1355. Long for days the hollow doesn't slowly sneak in and take me by surprise, bring me to the empty, the void in my chest that hurts. I just want to close my eyes.
Alas a distraction has arisen, a chance for me to help someone, take my focus off the hollow and make use of myself.
take care,
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