I remembered

I remembered, I didn't forget.  I do care.  I struggled with how to mark the day, I chose to do so in my heart and my mind.  It may seem cruel, not to acknowledge to you personally, I felt it was cruel to do just that.  You may not believe it, but it's painful on my end.  I'm doing what I think is best, again you may not agree.

take care,

then & now

It's a new day.  An exciting day.  Anew.  I'm in a better place.  

then and now

scared                            excited

fragile                           reinforced

secretive                       open

empty                           confident

needing approval         all I can think of here is Frank Sinatra My Way

I think you'd be proud, the minimal experiences I've had; I've learned from.  I've analyzed and I've grown.  

I totally know it's early days and the excitement is what is propelling me forward, but that's how it's suppose to be.  

love you handsome man. 

still do always will

take care

new home

You have a new home now.  Still above the fireplace, next to pictures, your candle, and notes we wrote on the toughest days.  It's an absolutely beautiful home, my favorite is our picture engraved, it's just amazing.  I hadn't been to that place since I brought you home, actually I couldn't drive, AS had to bring us home, I couldn't leave you there after the service.  It was hard going back there.

I will end for now and maybe reflect more later. 

take care,