The hollow is growing and I'm being consumed. It's been such a long time since it's been this bad. I'm drowning, I can't breath, I don't have the energy to come up for air.
I was almost there, a smile before a tear.
take care
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
It's returned
The hollow has slowly crept it's way back. It's been a tough day my dear. Started with the death of my potato soup friend. My heart aches, my heart remembers, I feel the hollow resurfacing.
It was not easy with your princess tonight. In the end it was ok, apologies, tears, and hugs. Though the outcome was good in the end it truly drained me, I have no energy.
I'm being swallowed.
I love you my dear, I'm glad to hear your voice.
take care.
It was not easy with your princess tonight. In the end it was ok, apologies, tears, and hugs. Though the outcome was good in the end it truly drained me, I have no energy.
I'm being swallowed.
I love you my dear, I'm glad to hear your voice.
take care.
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Potato Soup
Potato soup, the wish of a man who's days are limited on this planet. Tonight he asked for potato soup, it was not possible. Brings back so many memories. Looking for that doughnut shop you craved your last days on this earth, I should say last days you were vibrant enough to crave, to communicate. You didn't know the name of the place, just a vague location, on the way to school, near Little Canada. By golly I found it!! I searched the internet and used google earth and found it. I would have gone to the end of the earth to fulfill any desire you had while you lay in that hospital bed those last weeks of your life.
Even the smallest part I play in this journey for my potato soup friend brings back so many memories. Completely different story, every story is unique really. Remembering how hard it was to watch you suffer and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help, to ease the pain. Another request you made was for me to read to you. I read short stories as we waited for your day long procedure to determine the extent of disease. Then when it got so bad I read Catullus and other ancient poets with the help of Super K 2000 miles away, for that I will be eternally grateful.
I sent nightly good night videos and good morning videos of your princess wishing you a good day. It was so painful that I couldn't be with you all the time, I couldn't sleep in the same room. The one night I did spend in the chair next to your bed was just too difficult for your princess. I had to choose her well being over my own. This is hard to watch all over again, not the same intensity, but the memories do flood back along with the tears.
I miss you handsome man. I really need my dear and can't wait until tomorrow.
take care
Even the smallest part I play in this journey for my potato soup friend brings back so many memories. Completely different story, every story is unique really. Remembering how hard it was to watch you suffer and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help, to ease the pain. Another request you made was for me to read to you. I read short stories as we waited for your day long procedure to determine the extent of disease. Then when it got so bad I read Catullus and other ancient poets with the help of Super K 2000 miles away, for that I will be eternally grateful.
I sent nightly good night videos and good morning videos of your princess wishing you a good day. It was so painful that I couldn't be with you all the time, I couldn't sleep in the same room. The one night I did spend in the chair next to your bed was just too difficult for your princess. I had to choose her well being over my own. This is hard to watch all over again, not the same intensity, but the memories do flood back along with the tears.
I miss you handsome man. I really need my dear and can't wait until tomorrow.
take care
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