waiting
too good to be true
lack of sleep makes things worse
journey
run
pictures
empty
tired
need a hug
tomorrow still comes

even if it's just a little

Tomorrow our little one starts fourth grade, she is growing up to be such a lovely young lady.  We still miss you so much.  Each day comes and goes.  I was told I'm finally learning to accept life without you, it still hurts.  I do think about you every day even if it's just a little, I still wear your ring around my  neck.  I haven't worn my wedding ring for some months now.  I forgot to put it on one morning and I just couldn't bring myself to put it on when I got home.  My wedding ring is a constant reminder of the wife I can no longer be to you, but your ring gives me strength.

I noticed today that I'm still careful not to bump my hand on random objects at work so not to hit my ring, it's not there anymore, just like you're not here anymore.  I know you're in my heart and all that mushy talk, I like to think about it in a different way.  You're in my mind.  When I'm having a tough day I think about choices I should make as if you were watching.  I still want to make you proud, to be the woman you always boasted about.

Are you still proud of me? Am I doing right by our little girl?  All I know is that I'm doing the best I can.  I love you so very very much and I miss you.

take care,

our promise I'll keep

Tomorrow we fly.  We take a trip you never had the chance to take.  We leave the country and take our first adventure abroad.  Something we tried to do as a couple then as a family of three.  I promise to keep our word, to share this world with our daughter, expose her to countries and cultures & allow her to learn first hand what we only understood from books.  We all live on this planet and can learn from each other.

I miss you so much, I still wish someone understood me like you did.  I say things and I just try to imagine what it sounds like to others.  I miss you so.


love you handsome man

take care