Traveling solo especially abroad, has allowed me to relax. It feels like I’m on retreat without the structure. Gives me the chance to reflect & be with my thoughts & not have to worry about the immediate needs of others, a concept extremely foreign to me. Granted it’s been one day, but it’s been a glorious day & I’m ready to start day 2. Modern technology allows me to keep in contact with my best girl. She & I have been close, but since her graduation, actually since completion of her 1st year of college there’s been a shift. I’m still her Mom, but she’s doing all these things on her own & it makes my heart swell. It’s like I’m watching the fruits of my labor just blossom,
So far this trip has truly shown me being on my own is not only “not a bad thing” but it can be a good thing. Don’t get me wrong I would have loved to travel & share all this with R, but alas that whole death did us part got in the way. I’m at a point in my journey where I see couples enjoying each other & it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did before the wave doesn’t drown me, it’s a mild lilt of water over my feet & hugs my ankles. The desire to be a wife again is no longer there. Don’t get me wrong I still desire companionship & relationship with a deep connection to share things, to laugh, to solve all the worlds problems one minute & the next moment come up with a silly song.
take care,
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